May 4, 2022.
How many of you have heard someone say, “they know I love them; I don’t have to say it?” Perhaps it was said to you by parents, siblings or even partners. How did you feel or what did you think of that? Almost all elderly people I have interacted with or whose books I’ve read regret not saying and showing their loved ones how they felt. So why aren’t we doing it?
Original Parent Plant 
Baby Plant 
Fully Grown
I will give you an indirect example, so you see the impact of openly showing love. I separated a plantlet that was growing from the roots from its parent plant (first picture). I potted it in a separate pot shown in the second picture. I called that plant “my baby” and I would put it on my desk when I was working and carry it to my nightstand at bedtime. I contemplated taking it to work sometimes but didn’t want to risk it getting destroyed. I told the plant I loved it and occasionally stroked its leaves. I would sometimes lift it up and wrap my arms around the vase gently and warmly like a hug. This was all genuine, unplanned affection. I just liked how precious it was. The plant is what you see today in the third picture. Guess what, the parent plant that I wasn’t giving the same attention died. And these are Pilea Peperomioides plants, which are pretty easy to take care of. In the same home, I also had another plant which I watered on time, fertilized etc., however I didn’t look at it or pay attention to it as much. It looks quite sickly today and lost some leaves and so I have shifted towards giving all my plants attention. My plants have no brain but the manner in which I treated them affected their growth. Now imagine what that same affection could do for a human.
People confuse fulfilling obligations with showing love
When it comes to parents and children, people confuse fulfilling their obligations with love. You will hear someone say, “I gave them a roof over their head, clothes, and school. I love them, can’t they see?” Well dah! If they are your children you have to pay for their education, give them food, and a safe home. No child asks to be born. You can’t use fulfilling duties as a sign of love. How many of you say my employer should know I love them because I do my job? Same logic. The reason I emphasize this is that parents are your first interaction with being loved and feeling loved. Your relationships with your parents set the tone for how you give and receive love later, and what you will put up with. Parents should openly say they love their children.
Don’t assume because you love someone, the person knows
Everyone is entitled to how they want to show love to their loved ones however, I think someone shouldn’t assume that the other person will know they are loved. I don’t know about you, but I can’t read anyone’s mind as of yet. The way one person reasons through situations will be different from another person. And there is a clear distinction between being loved and feeling loved. Being loved doesn’t automatically guarantee that one will feel loved. The gap between those things is bridged by action, which is why you have to show love. From my experience, love is an emotion that is hard to contain, so I always wonder how one can love someone in silence throughout their lifetime. You just want to show the person and make them feel it.
Showing love doesn’t only apply to loving other people. It also matters with self-love. I encourage you to do this exercise in which you say your own name and the words I love you out loud in the mirror. ([Your name], I love you). You have to love yourself openly and fully before you can show love to someone else.
Question of the day:
- Who is one person I love that I haven’t told or shown? How can I show them love?
Comment your thoughts and share with a friend who might benefit from reading this!