May 2, 2022.
Today we will examine the fourth boundary, which is boundaries at work. I believe there are two parts to this type: boundaries with people at work and how they treat you, and boundaries between work and your personal life.
Boundaries with people at work
We spend a third or more of our day at work interacting with many different folks at various levels. There is often hierarchy based on years of experience and position. These relationships and boundaries need to be handled differently. I recognize that there are some professions where hierarchy is so emphasized that you can set boundaries and people still feel entitled to treat you however they want. Usually they are in a higher position so they feel you must do “yes sir” on everything. Speaking up in these scenarios can risk your future promotions and career trajectory if you are dealing with someone who has low emotional intelligence. Nonetheless, this should not stop you from figuring out how to communicate your boundaries.
Enforcing boundaries with people at work
If they are your peer or about the same level, you can easily communicate your boundaries with them. I would suggest being straight forward versus sugar coating what you are communicating. This will ensure the person comprehends you well. I would also suggest speaking sooner versus when you are about to blow up. If you are dealing with someone in a higher position and you know the person is levelheaded, you can be candid with them in a respectful manner of course. If they are a difficult person, you might have to engage some advocates. For example, if you have a mentor, you can speak with them, and they can relay the message for you or they could mediate a meeting where both of you are present. I prefer the latter because you can ensure that the other person has fully understood you versus having someone else speak on your behalf in your absence. You don’t know what they will say. There are some situations in which you have to pack your dignity and leave because the environment is too toxic, and people do not understand respect.
Boundaries between work and personal life
We all know or have heard of someone who is a workaholic. This person will work until their health has deteriorated beyond repair or neglect their family so much that they end up with an ugly divorce. This does not happen overnight. This is a result of consistently failing to establish boundaries between your work life and personal life. This is a type of boundary that people take for granted and only realize when it’s too late and they can’t reclaim their time back.
Enforcing boundaries between work and personal life
We all need to decide how we want our life to look in all the main areas such as relationships, health, career, community engagement to name a few. Once you know what you want, decide what are must dos and what is flexible. For example, you could say after 7PM it’s nonnegotiable family or self-care time. After making this decision, you have to establish boundaries which could involve informing people at work that after 7PM you don’t look at emails and making sure you live by it. It won’t help you to tell people that you don’t look at emails and still look at them and respond. People will get into the habit of sending you emails past 7PM knowing you don’t observe your own boundary. Another example of setting boundaries is not accepting more work as though you have capacity when your plate is full. Be transparent about your workload and your ability to deliver. Accepting more work when your hands are tied will hurt the quality of your output, which is worse than people being disappointed that you said no. You could also end up burnt out, which can have a negative impact on your health.
Questions of the day:
- What boundaries would I like to establish with people at work?
- What boundaries do I need to enforce to maintain a healthy work-life balance?
Comment your thoughts and share with a friend who might benefit from reading this!