May 17, 2022.

We’ve all felt afraid before. The fear I want to talk about today is the fear of intangible things such as the future, uncertain situations, failure, trying new things, etc. Fear is one of the stronger emotions that can cripple someone mentally. I will share some effective self-regulation methods you can use to reduce its effects.

Acknowledging the emotion

The first thing is to acknowledge that you feel the emotion. This can be done by writing it down, telling someone, and saying to yourself, “it’s ok that you feel XYZ.” The last point is more important because it creates relief. Has anyone ever said, “it seems that you feel [emotion]” to you before? Do you remember how you felt? I’m sure you were relieved, and you elaborated further by saying something along the lines of “yes, can you imagine XYZ happened.” Telling yourself that it’s ok to feel a certain way creates that same effect. Most of us actually suppress our emotions or shame ourselves internally. It most likely originated from past conditioning when you weren’t allowed to show certain emotions. The reason why it’s important for you to let the emotion out is that fear is one of those emotions that transforms into other negative emotions when suppressed. Most angry people are scared inside for example. In such cases it becomes what we call a temperament. Emotions, if left to run wild in the body, can also cause illness.

Using breathwork

The second regulation method is breathwork. Take deep breaths making sure your exhale is longer than your inhale. For example, do 4 counts inhaling and 6 counts exhaling. You could also hold your breath at the top. Exhaling for longer activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which lowers the heart rate thus calming you down.

Using Touch

The third thing you can do is to use touch. Putting your hand on your heart creates the same effect as though someone was hugging you. I learned from one of Dr Assaraf’s lessons that the brain center that lights up when you hug someone also turns on when you put your hand on your chest. If you have a friend close by, you can ask them to put their hands on either side of your shoulders. This will ground you and slow down the heart rate. I have actually tried this last one on someone else and they confirmed that they felt so much better.

Taking action

Another more obvious solution is taking action. Doing something about the situation at hand immediately creates a sense of progress and reduces the fear. Even if the steps taken are small, it’s better than sitting in fear.

Question of the day:

  • What self-regulation methods can I use to deal with strong emotions such as fear?

Comment your thoughts and share with a friend who might benefit from reading this!